When fall approaches there is a change in the light as it settles down on the earth.
Its thinner, less strident and angled differently. Even on hot September days the light is just a bit different as the earth and the sun move into different positions to begin their fall dance.
The Choke Cherry trees and the Willows are the first to show signs of approaching cold. Their leaves begin to yellow here and there as they look forward to a winter nap.
What I will miss about summertime is the riot of flowers that cascade out of planters, window boxes and hanging pots. I love the pinks, reds, yellows, violets that party all over the yard. Autumn is pretty with its oranges and red glows but, it's just not the same as the riotous colors of summer.
This year summer was late in coming because of the cooler than usual spring and early summer.
It actually seems like Summer is just getting started rather than just ending for that reason.
I hope there is a longer growing season next year and more time to sit outdoors and take all that color in.
Thursday, September 03, 2009
Autumn Beach
The weather changed from hot to chilly almost in one day.
It will warm up later in the week but nights are very cool right now and days are perfect and clear. A bit of a break from rain is kind of nice.
Autumn is coming in just a couple of weeks and I feel as if summer has not yet really started. I think that is because I didnt get to do all I wanted to do.
Certainly the beach was on hold this year again and I am disappointed.
Thankfully the beach year doesn't end in August but goes into October if we are lucky and the weather stays moderate.
There is something special too about the beach when there are fewer people around.
It will warm up later in the week but nights are very cool right now and days are perfect and clear. A bit of a break from rain is kind of nice.
Autumn is coming in just a couple of weeks and I feel as if summer has not yet really started. I think that is because I didnt get to do all I wanted to do.
Certainly the beach was on hold this year again and I am disappointed.
Thankfully the beach year doesn't end in August but goes into October if we are lucky and the weather stays moderate.
There is something special too about the beach when there are fewer people around.
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
Skyward
Everyone looks at clouds to see shapes of castles, animals, dragons, familiar faces and unfamiliar heads scudding along. That is part of our nature and our imagination that makes us want to see what we can find and its our inclination to always find new frontiers. In reality the sky is that thin envelope, on the solar scale anyway, that keeps the breath of the earth inside. The sky isn't even blue, that's only a reflection, but isn't that what looking up into the sky is all about?
Seeing ourselves reflected there, our wishes, our hopes, our dreams and our aspirations. What is looking up and finding familiar shapes in the clouds but a great cloudy Rorschach test, with cumulus, cirrus and all the other c clouds, instead of inkblots there as molds and forms to wrap our imaginations around? And when it comes right down to it, isn't a great cloud so much nicer than a blot of ink. And wouldn't it be nicer for a psychiatrist to ask a patient to step out and look up at the clouds, than to look at some smeared blots of ink?
Maybe Rorschach tests don't seem to produce positive results because they reduce the human mind to a blot of ink, instead of a noble cloud, a great formation of air around which the light shines. When you look up at an inkblot, you see an error, a mistake, something dirty and wrong. A cloud by contrast is filled with hope and potential. In Rorschach inkblots people may see their mistakes, but in the islands of the sky, their dreams take wing.
Seeing ourselves reflected there, our wishes, our hopes, our dreams and our aspirations. What is looking up and finding familiar shapes in the clouds but a great cloudy Rorschach test, with cumulus, cirrus and all the other c clouds, instead of inkblots there as molds and forms to wrap our imaginations around? And when it comes right down to it, isn't a great cloud so much nicer than a blot of ink. And wouldn't it be nicer for a psychiatrist to ask a patient to step out and look up at the clouds, than to look at some smeared blots of ink?
Maybe Rorschach tests don't seem to produce positive results because they reduce the human mind to a blot of ink, instead of a noble cloud, a great formation of air around which the light shines. When you look up at an inkblot, you see an error, a mistake, something dirty and wrong. A cloud by contrast is filled with hope and potential. In Rorschach inkblots people may see their mistakes, but in the islands of the sky, their dreams take wing.
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
Watches
I can't even begin to count how many watches I've had over the years. That isn't because I'm old, but because somehow my wrist and a wristwatch have just never gotten along. Ever since my first wristwatch at the tender age of three, which I managed to smash into a wall only a few hours later while sliding down a park slide, my history with watches has been fraught with danger, drama and lots and lots of breakage.
I have known many fortunate people who buy a watch and then go on to wear it until it wears out or until some of their progeny inherit it.But, for me that is never the case . They break and in much more unpredictable ways. It does not matter if the watch is expensive or dirt cheap. Whether the watch is plastic or metal. Built tough or as delicate as a crystal rose. Once the watch touches my wrist, its days of active life are numbered. And that is no exaggeration.
Sometimes the watches perish in good old fashioned collisions with kitchen cabinets, car doors and pot lids. Often they just seem to give out with their batteries dying, and no amount of new batteries will make the little hands run their race around the clock again. Sometimes more mysterious things happen. A watch melted on my wrist once, with no UFO presence anywhere in sight. A watch was snatched off my wrist in Times Square. Another watch that I had taken off my wrist and set down on the veranda was snatched up by a baffled gull. But no watch that I bought or was given as a gift managed to last more than a month.
Since then I have given up on watches entirely, as they seem to have given up on me. And if no watch will have me, then I won't have them either.
I have known many fortunate people who buy a watch and then go on to wear it until it wears out or until some of their progeny inherit it.But, for me that is never the case . They break and in much more unpredictable ways. It does not matter if the watch is expensive or dirt cheap. Whether the watch is plastic or metal. Built tough or as delicate as a crystal rose. Once the watch touches my wrist, its days of active life are numbered. And that is no exaggeration.
Sometimes the watches perish in good old fashioned collisions with kitchen cabinets, car doors and pot lids. Often they just seem to give out with their batteries dying, and no amount of new batteries will make the little hands run their race around the clock again. Sometimes more mysterious things happen. A watch melted on my wrist once, with no UFO presence anywhere in sight. A watch was snatched off my wrist in Times Square. Another watch that I had taken off my wrist and set down on the veranda was snatched up by a baffled gull. But no watch that I bought or was given as a gift managed to last more than a month.
Since then I have given up on watches entirely, as they seem to have given up on me. And if no watch will have me, then I won't have them either.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Shore Season Ending
I can't believe that summer is almost over. Well, not summer, that will last until autumn sets in officially later in September but children are going back to school, the beaches will empty a bit and the heat will ease up too.
It was a quiet summer. Not much beach time, not much at all and for that I am sorry but, things got in the way.
Soon the call of geese will be an everyday occurance and flocks of birds will be zooming over head toward the southlands.
But until then there is still warmth and sunlight and beaches, though not as full as before will still have many people enjoying the end of summer.
September really is a nice time at the shore. Less crowded for sure. The problem is a lack of life guards as they are not on duty after Labor Day.
At the shore Memorial Day begins the official shore season just as Labor Day ends it.
Another year......
It was a quiet summer. Not much beach time, not much at all and for that I am sorry but, things got in the way.
Soon the call of geese will be an everyday occurance and flocks of birds will be zooming over head toward the southlands.
But until then there is still warmth and sunlight and beaches, though not as full as before will still have many people enjoying the end of summer.
September really is a nice time at the shore. Less crowded for sure. The problem is a lack of life guards as they are not on duty after Labor Day.
At the shore Memorial Day begins the official shore season just as Labor Day ends it.
Another year......
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Sandy Thoughts.....
We walk over it, we dig it out from between our toes, lie down on it, kick it up into the air and stomp all over it. Sand. It's one of those things that we learn to take for granted only because we have come to see it with jaded eyes. Sand, who takes sand seriously anyway?
Sandologists, that's who. Sandology is a branch of geology concerned with the study and evolution of sand. While to the untrained eye, sand may just be sand, to a Sandologist, there are thousands of varieties of sand, from the smooth Saldean sand dunes of the southern Spanish coast, to the honey sand of Argentinian beaches to the pale sugar sand of the Bahamas, to the Aeden sands of New Zealand, Sandologists know that each beach's sand is a unique combination of local geology and climate.
And even when you don't see it, if you live near the beach or the shore, there may well be sand under you, paved over and covered with dirt. But roll the dirt back and the sand will be revealed again, waiting for the land you are on to become a beach. As the interface between the sea and the shore, the ocean and the land, the river and the peninsula, sand is the medium that brings friction to the liquid tides and a barrier to the land. Sand you see is a friend after all.
Dip your toes into it, enjoy it. Take a walk on it and you'll be hooked for good.
Sandologists, that's who. Sandology is a branch of geology concerned with the study and evolution of sand. While to the untrained eye, sand may just be sand, to a Sandologist, there are thousands of varieties of sand, from the smooth Saldean sand dunes of the southern Spanish coast, to the honey sand of Argentinian beaches to the pale sugar sand of the Bahamas, to the Aeden sands of New Zealand, Sandologists know that each beach's sand is a unique combination of local geology and climate.
And even when you don't see it, if you live near the beach or the shore, there may well be sand under you, paved over and covered with dirt. But roll the dirt back and the sand will be revealed again, waiting for the land you are on to become a beach. As the interface between the sea and the shore, the ocean and the land, the river and the peninsula, sand is the medium that brings friction to the liquid tides and a barrier to the land. Sand you see is a friend after all.
Dip your toes into it, enjoy it. Take a walk on it and you'll be hooked for good.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Ringing Phones
When phones were first introduced in English upper class society, they were considered rude, because just about anyone could call and interrupt you, regardless of whether you knew them or not. So the phone booth was consigned to the closet where the butler alone would answer it in the case that it actually rang. Today phones are everywhere. Not only have telephones come out of the closet, but those cunning communicators have found their way into your clothes too. Hardly anyone leaves the house anymore without carrying their phone with them. People will no more walk out the front door without their house keys or their clothes, than without their cell phones along. And what have the wages of the omnipresent phone brought us? On the one hand they have given us omnipresent communication. These days we are always in touch with everyone, all the time, whether or not we want to be in touch with them or not. Just press a button or two and voila. No more answering machine dodges are acceptable. Forget your amusing answering machine recording, the real question is why isn't your cell phone on? In every master-servant relationship, there comes a time to ask, who is really in charge. The Russian scientist Pavlov trained dogs to come to the sound of a ringing bell. But that was early in the 20th century. By now in the early 21st century, we have all come to be trained to run at the sound of a ringing bell. Hurry, rush, answer it. It could be for you. Maybe you won the lottery. Maybe that Nigerian prince who promised to send you 20 million dollars has finally decided to follow up on his end of the deal. Run, because the phone is ringing. Run.
August's Bad Rap
August often gets a bad rap. No one likes it when the fun ends, when you have to pick up the beach towels and umbrellas, shake the sand from your sandals and head on home. And so we get August's bad reputation. There are the dog days of August, as if you have to be a mutt to howl at the fair sands of August's beaches.
August is thought to be a bad time to release movies, it's where studios dump their "dogs", the movies with poor chances and too much in the way of a budget, that they hope to recoup from moviegoers seeking an air conditioned refuge and left with few options. How can summertime be a bad time to release a movie? Don't ask reasonable questions like that. When someone gets a bad rep, even if that someone is one of the twelve months of the year, the bad rep sticks and becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. And so studios dump the movies they expect to fail into August, and to no one's surprise they do fail.
And the same goes for us too. We expect August to be a hot sticky downer, to be a sopping sun-soaked well of apathy and misery, and so we get exactly what we expected right down to the sticky concrete. But the possibilities of August are out there and ours is the fault if we choose not to take advantage of them. To paraphrase a famous play that warned of the Ides of March, not August, the fault is not in the seasons dear Brutus, but in ourselves. So make the most of your August.
August is thought to be a bad time to release movies, it's where studios dump their "dogs", the movies with poor chances and too much in the way of a budget, that they hope to recoup from moviegoers seeking an air conditioned refuge and left with few options. How can summertime be a bad time to release a movie? Don't ask reasonable questions like that. When someone gets a bad rep, even if that someone is one of the twelve months of the year, the bad rep sticks and becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. And so studios dump the movies they expect to fail into August, and to no one's surprise they do fail.
And the same goes for us too. We expect August to be a hot sticky downer, to be a sopping sun-soaked well of apathy and misery, and so we get exactly what we expected right down to the sticky concrete. But the possibilities of August are out there and ours is the fault if we choose not to take advantage of them. To paraphrase a famous play that warned of the Ides of March, not August, the fault is not in the seasons dear Brutus, but in ourselves. So make the most of your August.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Wavey Days
Some days the shimmer of the sun across the water seems to make the air itself wavy and hazy. The world around you takes on a dreamlike effect, reality bends and distorts and you can almost see across and around time. August is often like that, with air that bends and light that flows around cracks, so that the world seems more open to possibilities, more able to admit your dreams through a hole into space and into your life.
The way that August bends light, reminds us that the ordinary workaday way we see the world in terms of unchanging angles and shapes, solid blocks, planes and spheres, is more fluid that we might think or can imagine. The wavy light that flows across impossible angles, that makes cars seem like modern art and roads like M.C. Escher shapes going on into forever, is the light of our imagination.
The Wavy Days of August, the last stop on the express train through summer and into fall, that combination of speed and slowness, the sense of hanging on the edge of a great thrilling precipice that we otherwise only see from surfers speeding along the edge of a wave or hanging on for dear life as the rollercoaster takes us up and around, under and over, in and through, past laughter and screams through an experience whose aftermath reminds us that sometimes it takes a different perspective to shock our senses and show us there is another way.
The way that August bends light, reminds us that the ordinary workaday way we see the world in terms of unchanging angles and shapes, solid blocks, planes and spheres, is more fluid that we might think or can imagine. The wavy light that flows across impossible angles, that makes cars seem like modern art and roads like M.C. Escher shapes going on into forever, is the light of our imagination.
The Wavy Days of August, the last stop on the express train through summer and into fall, that combination of speed and slowness, the sense of hanging on the edge of a great thrilling precipice that we otherwise only see from surfers speeding along the edge of a wave or hanging on for dear life as the rollercoaster takes us up and around, under and over, in and through, past laughter and screams through an experience whose aftermath reminds us that sometimes it takes a different perspective to shock our senses and show us there is another way.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
June's Rainy Days
More rain!!!!!
And the Farmer's Almanac predicts even more for the coming week. Temperatures are way below normal too. I don't mind that though since I am not a fan of humid heat and we are a sub-tropical climate.
No cleaning of pond filters today like I had planned. Kat was to come over to help but it was raining most of the day and so we called it off.
Looks like I will have to sneak in a day or a few hours when its not raining, if that ever happens.
There will be no company this weekend so I will be on my own.
Hope your weekend is nice.
And the Farmer's Almanac predicts even more for the coming week. Temperatures are way below normal too. I don't mind that though since I am not a fan of humid heat and we are a sub-tropical climate.
No cleaning of pond filters today like I had planned. Kat was to come over to help but it was raining most of the day and so we called it off.
Looks like I will have to sneak in a day or a few hours when its not raining, if that ever happens.
There will be no company this weekend so I will be on my own.
Hope your weekend is nice.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Sunday Sunshine
Its a lovely sunny day today with low temperatures and soft breezes.
The anonymous kid and Vman came to help with the yard. He mowed and whacked and Kat and I planted more flowers. We even put a box of flowers on the porch railing. It dosen't get much sun there but hopefully they will get enough to grow.
I planted the window box also with Violas.
Around the pond I put in yet another minature rose bush. I don't recall the color of this one, but the others are lipstick red, pink, white and bright yellow.
I love the minature roses. I buy them at ShopRite and depending on their state of growth they run from 3.99 a pot to 7.99. They bloom all summer and into early autumn and get larger of course though never like regular bushes at all.
A poor garter snake was accidently hit by the weed whacker and killed so, that was kind of sad, yet I don't care for them much. Still they have their job to do.
Yesterday was Haddy and Vman's anniversary. So they might go out for dinner tonight and I might stay with the littles while they are gone.
It was a really nice day today.
I will be sore tomorrow though !
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Wonderful day today. Heard a lecture online that changed how I view quite a lot of things.
It was a real wows- er and got a lot of loose ends straightened out.
Speaking of loose.... do misused words bother you?
Like loose used for lose?
Or when people write "could of" rather than could have or it's contraction "could've"?
There are quite a few things like that and I wonder why schools don't address it. People say things now in the way that they hear them rather than correctly.
I guess in the grand scheme of things its no big deal but, would be nice if schools taught more of this.
The weather today was sunny and pretty warm. After a few days with lots of rain and thunder storms it was nice to see the sun once again.
I still have tons to do in the yard to get it up and in good shape but little by little .
Same inside I have a lot of things to find new homes for.
It was a real wows- er and got a lot of loose ends straightened out.
Speaking of loose.... do misused words bother you?
Like loose used for lose?
Or when people write "could of" rather than could have or it's contraction "could've"?
There are quite a few things like that and I wonder why schools don't address it. People say things now in the way that they hear them rather than correctly.
I guess in the grand scheme of things its no big deal but, would be nice if schools taught more of this.
The weather today was sunny and pretty warm. After a few days with lots of rain and thunder storms it was nice to see the sun once again.
I still have tons to do in the yard to get it up and in good shape but little by little .
Same inside I have a lot of things to find new homes for.
- Study the past if you would define the future... confucius
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Now the weekend is coming and a time for resting.
I woke up this morning as sick as could be with severe headache and finally got sick .
I have felt weak and shaky as a result all day long. I am not sure if its a bug or a migraine gone wild but I sure hope I feel better tomorrow.
I made myself some chicken soup guaranteed to make me better.
so far its not working!!
Wish me luck
I woke up this morning as sick as could be with severe headache and finally got sick .
I have felt weak and shaky as a result all day long. I am not sure if its a bug or a migraine gone wild but I sure hope I feel better tomorrow.
I made myself some chicken soup guaranteed to make me better.
so far its not working!!
Wish me luck
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Another Day Another Post
Took a brief vacation but now I am back to blog yet again.
Weather was spectacular today. Not too hot, just right and a nice cool evening too.
Last night it was rainy and blustery. When the night gets that way you can smell the cedar on the wind and its the best smell. Maine has that...but a pine smell thats strong. I love those scents. They are heavenly.
I would so like to go through Maine again and see more this time. When I was there it was because I was heading up to Prince Edward Island, another place I love to visit.
It has been a long while since I was there though.
A bit of ocean fog has rolled in since earlier tonight and I am safe inside cooking myself a hot dog since I missed my dinner earlier tonight.
Tomorrow I am hoping to get time to clean a pond filter and maybe go to the store and get a few things I need around the house.
Weather was spectacular today. Not too hot, just right and a nice cool evening too.
Last night it was rainy and blustery. When the night gets that way you can smell the cedar on the wind and its the best smell. Maine has that...but a pine smell thats strong. I love those scents. They are heavenly.
I would so like to go through Maine again and see more this time. When I was there it was because I was heading up to Prince Edward Island, another place I love to visit.
It has been a long while since I was there though.
A bit of ocean fog has rolled in since earlier tonight and I am safe inside cooking myself a hot dog since I missed my dinner earlier tonight.
Tomorrow I am hoping to get time to clean a pond filter and maybe go to the store and get a few things I need around the house.
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
Another week has begun with mist and dark skies, rainy nights and gleaming roadways.
Its nice when it rains sometimes. There have been few days to enjoy the flowers and trees that are in bloom , however, with rainy days being more prevalent than sunny.
Still , it's early in May and things will heat up and sun-up soon enough I am sure.
I do hope it will not be a hot summer, though. Just some nice warmth and cool breezes til September. That would be the best.
Its nice when it rains sometimes. There have been few days to enjoy the flowers and trees that are in bloom , however, with rainy days being more prevalent than sunny.
Still , it's early in May and things will heat up and sun-up soon enough I am sure.
I do hope it will not be a hot summer, though. Just some nice warmth and cool breezes til September. That would be the best.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
CupCakes of Doom?
I spent a miserable night last night covered in hives. Finally I got some Benedryl at 6:30 this morning when the drug store opened and that gave some relief. I had to take more at 2 this afternoon but its calmer now.
I think I had an allergic reaction to cupcakes .
This will be the last time I touch them.
I spent a very miserable night really. I was itchy all day Monday to a certain extent after I had eaten one of those vile cakes in the morning. In the afternoon I had 2 more and got worse but I didn't associate.
NO, they are not regular cupcake size they are these tiny cute bite sized one and 4 of them equals one whole cupcake in size.
Now my hands still itch a bit and here and there mildly. It might just be that the Benedryl is wearing off, but I hope it's the end of this allergic reaction.
I think I had an allergic reaction to cupcakes .
This will be the last time I touch them.
I spent a very miserable night really. I was itchy all day Monday to a certain extent after I had eaten one of those vile cakes in the morning. In the afternoon I had 2 more and got worse but I didn't associate.
NO, they are not regular cupcake size they are these tiny cute bite sized one and 4 of them equals one whole cupcake in size.
Now my hands still itch a bit and here and there mildly. It might just be that the Benedryl is wearing off, but I hope it's the end of this allergic reaction.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
A day of pizza, kids and finally Lost.
The SIL brought over the babies and we had pizza for dinner and I played dolls with the tiny one and we all watched some cartoons. When daughter got home she took the kids to bed and I watched Lost's recap.
It was pretty good as we got to see what was happening all in one shot and it did answer a few questions, but it left even more.
Next week is the new episode and I can't wait. I will, but, well I really enjoy Lost quite a bit.
I want to know who sent Ilana and Bram. Are they with Widmore? Ben" Both? Someone else? Do they both work for the same person or do they just beleve they do?
They made some cryptic remarks to Miles and I want to see what that is all about too.
The SIL brought over the babies and we had pizza for dinner and I played dolls with the tiny one and we all watched some cartoons. When daughter got home she took the kids to bed and I watched Lost's recap.
It was pretty good as we got to see what was happening all in one shot and it did answer a few questions, but it left even more.
Next week is the new episode and I can't wait. I will, but, well I really enjoy Lost quite a bit.
I want to know who sent Ilana and Bram. Are they with Widmore? Ben" Both? Someone else? Do they both work for the same person or do they just beleve they do?
They made some cryptic remarks to Miles and I want to see what that is all about too.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Thunder and Lightning
Rained all day today and then this evening there was a big lightning and thunder storm.
The ponds are now completely filled with rain water and I love when that happens.
From now on the rain will continue to keep them topped off and filled with clean water.
The fish love the rain as it splashes down on the surface. They might think its food hitting the water, so they bob up to check it out.
When the sun went down it was beautiful to see the pond lit up by the flashes of lightning
The mountain pinks are blooming around the front pond and the fallen over bucket is filled with them happily spilling out onto the lawn.
I think tomorrow is more rain., but I am not sure.
It was so dark today due to the heavy clouds filled with water.
The ponds are now completely filled with rain water and I love when that happens.
From now on the rain will continue to keep them topped off and filled with clean water.
The fish love the rain as it splashes down on the surface. They might think its food hitting the water, so they bob up to check it out.
When the sun went down it was beautiful to see the pond lit up by the flashes of lightning
The mountain pinks are blooming around the front pond and the fallen over bucket is filled with them happily spilling out onto the lawn.
I think tomorrow is more rain., but I am not sure.
It was so dark today due to the heavy clouds filled with water.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Lovely Days
Passover is gone, Easter is over and spring is in full swing now. I had to take some time off from blogging because of the holidays etc.
It has rained a lot in the last few weeks but April showers do bring May flowers. Hyacinths are up and the mountain pinks are beginning to show some "pink". I have a lot of yard work to do and I hope health permits me to keep up with it all - most times it doesn't. But, I do try.
Yesterday the weather was grand and warm but not too warm and certainly not humid. I hate when its very humid since it spoils everything and makes you feel so awful.
My friend from Tea and Conversation with Katy gave me Emperor Violets a long
time ago and they fill up the front of the house under the front window, though
they are greening up they are not yet blooming. I have to rake thru that area
anyway as it's too overgrown.
I really hope I can fix up the y ard this year.
Have a great day.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
It was an awful week. Having to put up with things I shouldnt have to. Dealing with a person I should never have ever had to deal with and having friends not bother to listen or understand at all.
Having people who insist on taking the opposite tac at every occasion which mirrors some very ugly things from the past. Just too much and I despise it. Life doesn't have to be one big confrontation and debate all the time.
Well for some it does.
I was constantly reminded of all the worst things I have had to put up with.
I am tired of it more than I thought.
Having people who insist on taking the opposite tac at every occasion which mirrors some very ugly things from the past. Just too much and I despise it. Life doesn't have to be one big confrontation and debate all the time.
Well for some it does.
I was constantly reminded of all the worst things I have had to put up with.
I am tired of it more than I thought.
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